Leap over it, singing all the way.
Biopsy number 7??? of breasts…I have lost count. I found a lump before Christmas…It is small…I thought it could have been a clogged milk duct, but it didn’t go away…Cautious, unwilling to risk it to the high risk breast clinic I went.
“Yes,” the nurse practitioner said, “I feel it too. I am so glad that you came in” (I was due to go in 3 months later, this appointment was early). Getting in the car after the appointment, my worry started setting in. Then a simple song played on the radio as I drove away… “Fear Is a Liar” by Zach Williams. Reminding me that I need not fear, God is with me.
Found: A 1 cm mass, appearing similar to others…most likely a fibroadenoma…(benign)
Please. Please. Please. Let it be so. The radiologist seemed unconcerned, asking what my usual plan was. “I biopsy anything looking suspicious, even if it looks benign.” He stated the multiple risks of doing a biopsy while breastfeeding (I later learned the risks were small). He said I could schedule my biopsy now or wait 6 months when I was done breastfeeding…He acted like there was no rush.
Getting in the car I heard, “Happy” by Pharrell Williams…thinking the best. Yes!
Here I go again. I am walking with faith, knowing that sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to…but trusting God to walk with me through another hurdle… A hurdle that is starting to feel common place.
The High Risk Breast Clinic said schedule the biopsy now! I agreed.
I received the call today (Thursday, January 30th, 2020), the day after my biopsy. It’s Invasive Ductal Carcinoma…Fabulous.
Good bye boobies. You fed my babies. But you no longer are my friends.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”
— Isaiah 41:10
I will be okay.
“Cause the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin’
But your stuck out in the same ol’ storm again.
You hold tight to your umbrella ☔️ well, darlin’, I’m just tryin’ to tell ya
That there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head.”
— Kacey Musgraves
(P.S. I am not a country music fan, but one night Alexa saw fit to play me this song…and it found a way into my heart).
Update: After the initial biopsy at the cancerous site I have since had 2 more. One was to a lymph node that was tender and a tiny bit swollen, found by my future surgeon. That biopsy was a mess, the node kept rolling away and was too close to blood vessels (The core biopsy was unsuccessful, so the radiologist tried fine needle aspiration. That didn’t come back with any lymph tissue). The result is I don’t know if I have stage 1B or 2B triple negative invasive ductal breast cancer.
Biopsy 3 of this series was of a new lump I found midway through the week before chemo started. This one also on my left side. It is, thankfully, benign. Most likely related to breastfeeding, and possibly because I ended that rapidly.